Before I Die

I want to smile more (maybe even laugh).

Earlier this month, I found the “Before I die” mural in downtown Reno. The Black Rock Arts Foundation installed two interactive murals in downtown Reno and I photographed one with my phone. This phrase was a variation of the question I have been asking myself on the eighth anniversary of my father’s death. “Now what?”

[photoshelter-gallery g_id=’G0000Sulyxw3tpz8′ g_name=’Fathers-Day’ f_show_caption=’t’ f_show_slidenum=’t’ img_title=’iptct’ pho_credit=’iptc’ f_link=’t’ f_enable_embed_btn=’t’ f_send_to_friend_btn=’t’ f_fullscreen=’t’ f_bbar=’t’ f_htmllinks=’t’ f_mtrx=’t’ fsvis=’f’ width=’590′ height=’393′ bgcolor=’#AAAAAA’ btype=’old’ bcolor=’#CCCCCC’ crop=’f’ twoup=’t’ trans=’xfade’ tbs=’2000′ bgtrans=’f’ linkdest=’c’ f_constrain=’f’ f_topbar=’f’ f_bbarbig=” f_show_watermark=’f’ f_smooth=’f’ f_ap=’f’ f_up=’f’ target=’_self’ wmds=’llQ6QNgpeC.p1Ucz7U.Y5pyOwlDRbRmpK7rw7Pl_S7A8jXusYD6r4o7fO4C5fv5rg4uDiw–‘ ]

Eight years ago, my father died. He actually died on the 16th, but since I uploaded the photos three days ago, I have still been searching for the answer to the now what question. In the months before he took his life, I smiled often. My daughter was born six months before he died and she was a happy baby. I was a happy parent. After my father died, Death seemed to follow us. Sadness consumed our lives.

I rededicated myself to being the best father possible.  I fail often and I try hard. Parenting is humbling.

On the anniversary of my father’s death, I often do something important. This year, I tried to be normal. I took my children for ice cream. We registered for school and drove their mother to work. We watched Shark Week. On Father’s Day, we relaxed and photographed each other. I think my wife took some of the photographs and my kids photographed me too.

Now, I am ready to smile (maybe even laugh).

 

What do you want to do Before You Die?

One Response to “Before I Die”

  1. Alice J Pierson-Knapp says:

    Hi!